This Christmas
by ForeverFalling86
Summary: In which Santa is a drunken asshole who abandons Sasuke in some moron's living room on Christmas Eve. NaruSasu.
1. Chapter 1

So please just fall in love with me, this Christmas  
>There's nothing else that I will need, this Christmas<br>Won't be wrapped under a tree, I want something that lasts forever,  
>So kiss me on this cold December night<p>

-_Cold December Night_

Sasuke adjusted his hat so that it covered his freezing ears as they touched down on the snowy rooftop. The clatter of the reindeers' hooves was nicely muffled by the snow as they sent waves of white soaring over the side of the house. It was well past midnight on their busiest night of the year: Christmas Eve. The lights hanging from the gutters cast them in a multicoloured glow as they set to work.

"Uzumaki," Sasuke read aloud as Santa stumbled out of the sleigh and staggered precariously close to the edge. "Sir, are you sure you don't just want me to get this one?" he asked, watching as the fat man nearly slipped on a patch of ice that surely would have sent him plummeting to the ground below.

Every year some misguided souls left out eggnog instead of milk, and every year since Sasuke had taken up his post he'd feared for his life as Nicolas drunkenly guided them around power lines and skyscrapers. It was no wonder Haku had retired so young.

His suggestion was ignored and he sighed to himself as he gently clambered out of the sleigh, his green leather boots sinking deeply into the snow that crunched beneath him. Nick was already waiting for him by the chimney so Sasuke grabbed the sack from the back of the sleigh and hurried over to his side.

"Sir, really, I can handle this."

"Nonsense," Santa laughed loudly, his stomach shaking along with the rest of him. "Who would eat the cookies?"

"I could bring them back up—

"Sasuke," the big man huffed, his face a bright rosacea red. "'M fine. Stop yer' worryin'."

The elf nodded, the bells on his hat giving a jingle as he did. Nick went down first, squeezing himself through the small opening and Sasuke shoved the sack of gifts after him before easily sliding down himself. He landed in a pile of soot, easily hopping over the still smouldering logs left behind from a fire probably put out only hours before. He almost tripped over a randomly placed ottoman, but saved himself by grabbing onto the arm of the couch.

Santa was grumbling as he dug through the sack looking for the appropriate gifts. "Uzumaki you said?"

Sasuke nodded and took a seat on the couch, his nose crinkling as he struggled to remember. "He wanted a new camera...and I think some ramen packets."

Nick looked over at him, shaking his head. "The fact tha' you can 'member that 'stounds me. Yer' jus' like yer' brother."

Sasuke didn't try to hide the smile that appeared on his face at the praise. Itachi was the youngest elf to have ever reached the position of Head Elf. Sasuke had spent most of his time as an elfling following after his brother as he went about his job, watching him work and all the while praying that one day he could be just like him. Naturally, their family had expected great things from him as well. And while it was nothing compared to being _Head Elf_, he was rather proud to have reached the position he had at his age. Head of Delivery was an important job after all.

"Aha!" Santa chuckled as he pulled out a medium sized box wrapped neatly in a lurid orange paper. He set it and two other gifts gently beneath the tree that twinkled with hundreds of lights before he noticed the plate of cookies and glass of milk.

"Sir, I'll just go fill the stocking," Sasuke said quietly as he dug through the sack and pulled out a handful of chocolate and a cup ramen. Nick nodded absentmindedly as he bit into a delightfully delicious looking chocolate chip cookie and plopped down onto the brown couch.

The raven haired elf made his way into the hallway, easily spotting the bright orange stocking hanging on the banister that was entwined with thick garland. He bit back a small yawn as he stuffed the stocking, desperate to stay alert. They still had a long way to go before they could head back to the North Pole, and with Nick driving he'd need to be awake enough to point out the power lines. A small sound met his ears and Sasuke looked to his feet to find a small cat sitting on the hardwood.

"Hello," he greeted calmly. The cat stared up at him, letting out another small meow. He bent down and gave it a pat on the head. "Feeling a little left out are you?"

The cat leaned into his touch as he dragged his fingers through the silky soft fur. Some people liked to leave out little stockings for their pets as well, but one glance at the banister told him that Uzumaki wasn't one of them.

"I guess we'll have to fix that. I'm sure there's something in Santa's bag."

He gently picked up the cat, knowing he'd have to brush the fur off of his shirt and vest.

"Hey Nick," he called quietly as he wandered back into the living room. "Do we have anything for the—

Sasuke glanced around the suddenly empty living room. "Nick?"

He looked into the adjacent dining room and found that it was empty as well.

"Santa?"

There was a sudden clatter from the roof and at that moment Sasuke's stomach seemed to bottom out. He very nearly dropped the cat as he rushed to the window only to catch a glimpse of the back of the sleigh as it flew off. It'd been their last stop in this town. Santa was gone.

Now, a lesser elf would have started crying. They were emotional creatures after all. But Sasuke wasn't just any old elf. He was _Head of Delivery_. And more importantly, he was an Uchiha. And Uchiha didn't cry.

"Oh shit."

They swore.

**TBC?**

Please don't forget to review : )

ForeverFalling.


	2. Chapter 2

**I haven't slept in three days so please excuse any typos. My eyes are too tired focus properly at the moment and I can't find my glasses. I'll fix anything up after I crash for a while. **

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><p>Sasuke stared blankly out of the window and resisted the urge to slam his head against the pane of glass. This couldn't be happening. The cat in his arms let out a small yowl and the elf quickly dropped him. Pale hands pressed against the glass as he struggled to get the sleigh back in his line of sight. When he realized it was futile Sasuke stumbled back, a look of horror playing across his face before he wrestled his feelings into proper order.<p>

"That...that _fucking _drunken idiot," he growled as he kicked the wall, the chiming bells on his hat accompanying the thump before he ripped it from his head and tossed it aside. What was he going to do? Maybe Nick would come back for him! Sasuke thought back to how the man had staggered and stumbled about the place and any thoughts of rescue slipped from his mind.

"I'm so screwed," he lamented. He'd heard stories of delivery elves getting stranded after falling off the sleigh or getting lost in larger houses but he'd thought they were just that: stories.

Itachi was going to _kill _him...well, if he ever got the chance.

The elf sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. He was going to need a plan, and fast before morning hit and Uzumaki woke— Sasuke stopped short at the sound of someone coming down the stairs.

"What do I do? What the hell do I do?" He muttered, knowing the front door wasn't an option anymore what with the stairs situated directly in front of it. He looked to the cat as if for guidance but it just stared up at him, its ears twitching. He swallowed his panic as a tall, half naked blonde suddenly appeared in the doorway looking tired and a little annoyed. Sasuke fought down a blush as he struggled not to stare at the man's naked chest.

The blonde stopped short for a moment, bright blue eyes trailing over the elf that was frozen in front of him. Uzumaki rubbed at his eyes and then blinked blearily before rubbing at them again. When the elf didn't disappear upon further scrutiny the man jumped as he let out a sharp yelp, clearly startled.

"What the hell are you doing in my house?"

Sasuke backed up, almost tripping over the cat for the second time that night.

"I'm calling the cops you freak!" the blonde screamed as he disappeared around the corner into the kitchen. Sasuke scrambled for an excuse as he heard the man dialling a quick number into the phone.

"If you don't get out of here your ass is so going to jail!" the loud man screamed again.

"I...I was just doing my job..." Sasuke stammered, wringing his hands nervously. He'd seen movies about jail and had no desire to go there. He'd always had a knack for dropping his soap while in the shower, and he'd heard that terrible things happened to people like him.

Silence filled the air as he stumbled to the door, ready to make a run for it when suddenly Uzumaki appeared again, cordless phone clutched in his hand.

"Your job?" he asked, looking hesitant. "Did...did Kiba hire you?"

Sasuke froze like a deer as he watched a smile slowly appear on the blonde's face. He had no idea who the in the name of Christmas this Kiba guy was but if he got him out of having to go to jail, he could be on the naughtiest of the naughty lists for all he cared.

"Oh my _God._ He said he would but I didn't believe him!" He set the phone down on the hall table as he flicked a switch and they were suddenly bathed in light. "Yeah," Uzumaki nodded as he absentmindedly scratched at his bare chest. "No self respecting thief would dress like _that_. What are you supposed to be anyway? The Ghost of Christmas Present?"

The raven stiffened as he glanced down at his uniform, finding nothing wrong with it.

"I'm an _elf_," he sniffed, offended. He wasn't supposed to reveal himself to humans, but screw secrecy! Nick could go throw himself off a cliff.

"An elf huh," the man smiled slyly as he sauntered forward. "Well, I can play along with that."

Large hands suddenly appeared on Sasuke's arms and slid up to cup his face.

"Quite a pretty elf," the man whispered huskily, his warm breath tickling a delicately pointed ear as the pads of his thumbs ran across prominent cheek bones. Sasuke stood still as hands slunk down to his hips, wondering just what the hell was happening. One minute he was calling him a freak and threatening him with jail and the next thing the guy is calling him pretty. Now, Sasuke had never had much experience with true mortals, never mind humans, but he couldn't help but think that this one was suffering from some sort of mental deficiency. Then again, his Uncle Madara had been a little screwy in the head, and he'd never done anything like this before. What an odd creature this Uzumaki was.

"Yeah, I think you're going to be my favourite gift this year," Uzumaki murmured and Sasuke flushed a bright red as the wandering hands suddenly clutched his ass. The elf drew back slightly and stared into a pair of appreciative eyes.

"I can see why he picked you. You're—

He was abruptly cut off by Sasuke's fist ploughing into the side of his face.

"You- you damn pervert," the raven growled as Uzumaki staggered, trying to catch himself on the wall before spilling onto the floor. The raven haired elf shook out his fist, assured he hadn't broken any fingers.

Uzumaki groaned in pain as a green leather boot connected with his side. Sasuke refrained from spitting at the scumbag before he stomped down the hall intent on getting the hell out of there when Uzumaki suddenly called out, "I want Kiba's fucking money back!"

The raven spun on his heel, seething. "I won't be giving anyone anything! In fact I should take back everything I brought with me in the first place you ungrateful pig!"

"I'm going to call your boss and report you," the blonde gasped as he climbed back to his feet. "You'll be fired in a heartbeat."

"You can't do that," Sasuke huffed, waving off the threat. He- he couldn't...right? He'd never heard of an elf getting fired before...demoted yes, but _fired_? Sasuke paled at the very thought.

"What kind of whore is a touch me not?" the other man grumbled as he wiped the blood from his lip.

"_Whore_?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I _offend _you?" Uzumaki sneered, brushing the blood from his fingers onto his plaid pants. ""Prostitute, hooker, whatever."

"I have never been, nor will I ever be a _whore_!" Sasuke snarled. "Or a prostitute _or _hooker you moron!"

"Then what the hell are you?" Uzumaki called back, condescendingly. "An entertainer? In the art of Fellatio?"

"I'm an ELF!"

Understanding seemed to flicker across the blonde's face and for a moment Sasuke felt a shred of hope spring to life in his chest only for it to be snuffed out when the idiot once again opened his mouth.

"Oh! You're _really_ into this role playing eh?" The man's face broke out into another leer as he calmly stalked forward. Even with the bruise beginning to blossom across his cheek and the quirk of his lips that made Sasuke feel dirty just by looking at them, he couldn't deny that Uzumaki was handsome. In an oafish, rude, human sort of way.

"So what does this make me? Jolly old St. Nick?"

The thought of Nick looking at him the way Uzumaki was made Sasuke's skin crawl and his stomach roil. And frankly, Mrs. Clause would kill anyone who ever went near her husband with less than innocent intentions. And Sasuke didn't think anyone would fancy getting strangled with garland.

When a hand reached out to touch him Sasuke slapped it away. "Screw off!"

"So you're a shy elf?" Uzumaki smiled. Said elf gave the blonde a hard shove, knocking away the hands that had been worrying the hem of his shirt.

"Back off!"

Any prior thoughts of the man being handsome were shoved from his mind. If Uzumaki didn't back down he'd soon find himself missing a limb or three.

"Are... are you _serious_?"

"Yes," Sasuke growled, backing away to put some more distance between them, knowing it still wouldn't be enough. A freaking continent wouldn't be far enough away from this idiot.

"A-Alright," Uzumaki said, putting his hands up in surrender. "Did something... _happen_ before you came here?"

Sasuke stared at him blankly. Before he came here? Other than almost getting fried on a power line?

" Do you need me to call the agency for you? I- Do you need a _hospital_?" He seemed honestly worried now, the suggestive look gone from his face, and instead in its place was an examining one.

"I was just fine before you started pawing at me," the elf snarled, glaring at the man in front of him, purposefully ignoring the cat that was once again twisting around his legs and meowing pitifully.

"Are you sure?" Uzumaki asked. "We don't need to tell anyone if you don't want to, but if you're hurt we should really get you checked out."

"I'm fine," Sasuke insisted, knowing that wasn't even close to true. Being fine didn't consist of being stranded thousands of miles from home with no way back and stuck with some moron.

"My Aunt is a doctor, if you wanted we could go and see her instead," the blonde continued, coming closer as if to check him over. Sasuke pulled back, trying to establish some personal space which Uzumaki seemed to have no concept of.

"Look, like I said; just back off," the elf said shortly. "I don't need your help but...thank you for offering," he added, remembering the manners his father had beaten into him as an elfling.

The blonde nodded sadly, looking tired and haggard. "Why don't you just stay the rest of the night? On the couch of course," he rushed to add. "You can keep whatever Kiba paid for you, it's Christmas after all."

"While the sentiment is nice, I would prefer if you could direct me to the nearest..." _Shit_. What were those things called? "Flying...centre."

"You mean _the airport_?" The man asked looking at him like he was nuts.

"Yes. The airport." He nodded succinctly.

"Riiight. Did you hit your head?"

Well, actually, he _had _accidently knocked his head on a fireplace back in Norway. But regardless— "No, it just slipped my mind. How would I get there?"

"Uh, well," the blonde stuttered, scratching at his head. "It's about an hour out from here, but traffic's a bitch at all hours- they tore out the bridge into the city, so it's about...two hours?"

Sasuke finally took pity on the cat that was still twisting around him and scooped it up. "Would you call me one of those yellow cars?" He asked as he pat the cat on the head. Seeing as he had no paperwork, if he was lucky they might deport him. Hopefully they had flights that went that far north.

"You mean a _taxi_?" The look that questioned his sanity was once again in place.

"Yes."

"Are you sick or something?"

A hand shot out to feel his forehead but Sasuke ducked to the side to avoid it. Instead Uzumaki's hand clapped against the side of his head, sending a searing pain through his ear. The cat was promptly dropped to the hardwood as he clutched at his now throbbing appendage.

"Oh crap, you _did _hit your head didn't you," the blonde said worriedly, pulling away a pale hand to get a better look. "Huh, I don't see anything wrong," he muttered, running his fingers over Sasuke's scalp and not finding any bumps or the telltale stickiness of coagulating blood. Sasuke submitted to the now innocent touches, noticing for the first time how warm the man's hands were.

"I'm just gunna' pull this off to get a better look at your ear, alright?"

"Wha— OW!"

"HOLY SHIT!" Uzumaki jumped away from him, his face pale.

"What the hell?"

"You've— you've actually got pointed ears!"

"Thank you for pointing out the obvious, you sadist," Sasuke spat, once again cupping his ear that was now in absolute agony. The man stumbled, his eyes trailing to the full stocking, the gifts nestled under the tree and the empty plate set on the coffee table.

"You're...you're actually an elf?" He whispered, as if worried someone would hear.

"Yes, what else would I be?"

The blonde quickly slapped himself across the face. Sasuke stepped back, giving him a wide berth. This guy was absolutely crazy. When blue eyes once again opened and focused on him Uzumaki's face continued to drain of colour, leaving the odd marks on his cheeks stark against his skin.

"I'm not dreaming!"

"No," Sasuke said mildly.

"You're real?"

"Last time I checked."

"An honest to God, pointed eared, makes toys for children, wears pointed hats, _elf_?"

Sasuke nodded easily, the pain in his ear beginning to subside, so he gave it one final rub before dropping his hand. "Well, my hat is around here somewhere, but yes."

"You're an elf," Uzumaki flatly, his voice strangely dead.

"Of course I am."

"Yeah, of course you are," the man laughed, hysteria becoming evident on his face as he continued to cackle. "An elf! _A freaking elf_!"

Sasuke watched dispassionately as the blonde's eyes rolled back into his head and he crumbled into heap on the floor. He gently prodded him with his boot covered foot, only getting a quiet groan in response.

Sasuke sighed and ran a hand through his raven hair before glancing down to look at the cat resting at his feet that was focused on it's now unconscious owner, looking as curious as a cat was capable of looking.

The elf shrugged helplessly. "Humans"

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><p><strong>Please don't forget to review :) <strong>

**ForeverFalling. **


	3. Chapter 3

Sasuke had stared at the man laying unconscious on the floor for a while before he decided that there wasn't much he could do except put him on the couch. Now, if the moron hadn't weighed more than a damn reindeer _maybe_ Sasuke wouldn't have accidently dropped him. So really, the possible concussion was the idiot's own fault. The elf avoided the cat's gaze who seemed to be staring at him accusingly as he struggled to drag Uzumaki into the living room. Luckily his boots had decent traction against the hardwood or Sasuke just would've left him to lay there rather than put up with the hassle. When the blonde was finally situated at the count the elf had to take a moment to catch his breath before he— well, actually, there really wasn't anything to do now that Uzumaki was out cold.

The sun was beginning to peak through the curtains meaning morning had arrived. Which meant that Nick would be back at the North Pole by now. Itachi was probably going to dismember him with his bare hands when Nick sobered up and broke the news. Stupid bastard deserved it.

With nothing better to do Sasuke ended up wandering into the kitchen, the cat padding quietly after him. There were several bowls scattered around the counter and the remnants of what looked to be a pot of ramen. The elf's nose crinkled at the smell before he grabbed the pot and dumped it into the sink. How anyone could get anything done in such a disgustingly messy area was beyond him. He set to work scrubbing out the pot, picking up stray dishes from around the room as he went along. The cat had hopped up onto the nicely sized wooden table that was set against the wall, its tail thumping on a pile of newspapers and Christmas cards. Ducking down to check under the sink Sasuke managed to find a bottle of surface cleaner and began washing the counter.

Once the counter was sparkling and the dishes were drying on the rack he began to peek into the cupboards to see what they had to offer. He managed to find a bag of flour, some baking powder, and from there it was easy to search out the rest of the things he'd need. If he had a few hours to spare, he might as well be productive.

The elf cleared the pans out of the oven before setting it to the right temperature. He began making the dough from memory, the recipe long ingrained into his mind by his mother. He'd spent many hours on a stool by her side watching her bake until he was old enough to lend a hand. While he loved toy making he couldn't help but find baking much more relaxing. And less noisy. Nothing could induce a migraine like working on the assembly line.

He grabbed a rolling pin from a drawer and began spreading out the dough before he picked up a knife and deftly began cutting out random shapes and setting them on the pans. Sasuke checked the nearby wall clock before placing both pans on the racks in the oven. He was about to start cleaning up when he heard a groan from the doorway. The elf turned to find Uzumaki standing there, clutching at his head.

"I've got an elf in my kitchen," he moaned. "Making- making _cookies_!"

"Sugar cookies," said elf supplied helpfully as he sat down at the table.

"Making _sugar cookies_!" he lamented, head in his hands.

"Do you not like sug—

"YES I LIKE SUGAR COOKIES. But that's not the point!" the blonde shouted. "And you cleaned my kitchen!"

The raven glanced at the freshly washed dishes. "Did you want to wash them yourself or some—

"Shut up!"

"I liked you better unconscious," Sasuke muttered, the cat seeming to meow in agreement.

"You shut up too," Uzumaki growled and the cat gave a hiss before hopping down from the table and disappearing around the corner.

"I think you offended him," Sasuke said, glancing after the little animal.

"How is this _possible_?" the man cried from behind his hands. "Where did you even come from?"

"The North Pole," the elf said flatly. It was rather obvious wasn't it?

"The North- the North Pole," the human growled, blue eyes peeking out from behind tanned fingers. "The North _fucking_ Pole? Are you kidding me with this shit?"

Sasuke frowned; did he look like he was kidding?

Uzumaki seemed to be having some sort of mental breakdown as he slid to the tile floor and began to ever so slightly rock back and forth. The elf contemplated trying to comfort him before he thought better of it and instead stood to start cleaning up. He occasionally glanced over to the human as he scrubbed out the bowl he'd used but the blonde remained where he was. When the dishes were clean he searched through the draws until he finally found a pair of bright orange oven mitts and took the cookies out of the oven to cool. He set the mitts aside and leaned against the counter, cool dark eyes watching the human closely.

"Would you like a cookie?" he asked, growing tired of the constant rocking motion.

"What?" Startled blue eyes set in a pale face snapped to his own.

"A cookie," the elf repeated as he plucked one from the pan and held it out.

Cookies _always_ made everything better. Well, except Nick's diabetes of course. That was a definite exception. Uzumaki gently took the cookie from his hand and Sasuke offered him a small smile. He turned to grab a container for the rest of the baked goods when the man suddenly let out a load moan.

"It's like...magic in my mouth," he groaned before taking another bite. He stood and grabbed another two before collapsing into a chair. "So what the hell am I supposed to do with you?"

"_Do_ with me?" Sasuke scowled as he put a freshly cleaned spatula on the rack to dry.

"Well, yeah," Uzumaki nodded. "I mean, you're here for what, my Christmas gift? Because I sure as hell didn't ask Santa for an elf. In fact, I haven't written to him since I was ten!"

"Parents often believe that they are the ones who place the gifts under the tree," Sasuke said, leaning against the counter. "It's some sort of enchantment that was created after a few...encounters. Apparently people didn't take well to a man crawling down their chimney in the middle of the night."

"Makes sense," the blonde nodded as he munched on a cookie. "But wait! Why the hell aren't you a midget? You're supposed to be all small and shit."

"_That _is a terrible stereotype that has haunted my people for hundreds of years," the raven said with the air of someone reciting a history book. "I'll have you know my father is over six feet tall!"

"Okay, okay," Uzumaki said, his hands up in surrender. "I get it. But you still haven't told me what the hell you're doing here!"

Sasuke flushed with anger, his fingers playing with the hem of his shirt. "Nick—

"Nick?" "Santa," the elf growled. "Whatever the hell you want to call him. He was drunk and when I went to go fill up the stockings...he sort of forgot me and left."

The human stared at him dumbly for a moment before bursting into laughter.

"It's not funny!" he protested.

"Yes! Yes, it is!"

Sasuke reached out and smacked the man's head. "Shut up Uzumaki!"

The blonde struggled to reign in his laughter for a few moments before he finally managed to swallow it down. "J-Just call me Naruto," he said, letting out a helpless giggle.

"I'm Sasuke."

The man— Naruto, sighed, running a hand through his hair. "So what do we do now? I mean, are you stranded or what?"

"Well," the elf started slowly. "I thought I could just go to the airport and they could deport me back to the North Pole or something."

Naruto frowned as he leaned back in his chair, the wood creaking ominously. "I'm not an expert with this sort of thing, but I don't think that'd be such a good idea. Don't you have like a...distress signal or something for this sort of thing?"

Sasuke gave him a flat sort of glare. "I assure you this doesn't happen often enough to warrant that."

"Sucks to be you then eh?" Naruto mused as he popped another cookie into his mouth.

"Oh shut up," the elf snapped tiredly as he ran a hand over his face.

"Well, what're you going to do until you figure out how to get back?"

Sasuke faltered for a moment. "I...well, I don't—

"Do you want to stay here?" the blonde asked, almost looking hopeful.

Let's see. Did Sasuke want to stay in some random stranger's home and trust that the guy wasn't secretly some psycho who would kill him in his sleep? Why no. No, in fact, he did not. Did he really have a choice in the matter? Why no. No, in fact, he did not.

"If you'd have me," he muttered, a sudden wave of shyness bursting in his chest.

"_Oh_," Naruto laughed, grabbing another cookie and tossing it into his mouth. "I'll have you alright."

Sasuke had to wonder what the hell he'd done in a past life to earn such suffering.

"So, an elf will be staying with me for an indefinite amount of time. Huh. Weird way to end off the year," Naruto noted before stopping for a moment. "I've no idea why I'm suddenly so calm about this."

"The cookies will do that," Sasuke nodded, still lamenting his fate.

Naruto looked from the cookie in his hand to the elf and back again. "D-Did you _drug_ me?"

The elf considered it for a moment, his nose scrunching slightly. "Well—

"Holy shit," the blonde said, a look of utter disbelief on his face. "You did. You did drug me. With _cookies_."

"It's just some magic," Sasuke said casually. "You'll be back to your panicky self in a few hours. If you stop eating them that is."

"I," the human stopped, looking unsure. "I can't really bring myself to care all that much."

"That's the cookies," Sasuke said, offering him another. Naruto took it and promptly began devouring it. "Don't worry, they're not _terribly_ addictive. But I wouldn't eat more than fifteen in a day. You might start seeing things."

"I'm already seeing elves," the blonde pointed out between bites. "I don't think it can get any trippier than that."

"We'll see," Sasuke replied, with the hint of a promise colouring his voice. "So," he continued. "What now?"

"Oh uh...Well, what do elves do in their spare time?"

"_Spare_ time?"

"We could watch a movie," the human suggested, grabbing another cookie.

And that was how Sasuke found himself perched on the couch watching a Christmas movie that Naruto had assured him was 'fucking awesome' but he frankly found completely unbelievable.

"This is crap," he finally said, a taking a bit of one of the cookies that he'd managed to snag before the blonde could devour them.

"_No_, it's hilarious," Naruto assured him. "Will Ferrell is great."

"It promotes stereotypes that are completely untrue," Sasuke said defensively. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm not four feet tall, and second of all, it's completely unbelievable."

Naruto turned away from the screen and gave him an appraising look. "An elf, left stranded in my living room by a drunken Santa is telling me that something in unbelievable?"

Well, when he put it _that _way.

"All I'm saying," the elf huffed, a flush playing across his normally pale face. "Is that no one ever makes it through the Candy Cane forest. It's impossible! And you expect me to believe that _this_ idiot got through it?"

Naruto slowly turned to look at him again. "What?"

"There are creatures in there that will tear an elf _or _human to bits. No way he could've made it through," Sasuke sniffed.

Naruto just continued to stare blankly. "You're telling me, that this movie," he waved a hand towards the television. "Is partially true?"

"Well, they got the forest right, but I mean, the village looks _completely _wrong and—

"There's a Candy Cane Forest?"

"Well...yeah."

Naruto nodded calmly for a moment before a look of horror began to leach onto his face. "Oh God."

"What?" Sasuke asked, startled at the sudden change.

"There's an _elf _in my living room telling me that there's a fucking forest made out of candy. This is a dream right?" he asked desperately. "I'm really dreaming right? Or I'm having some sort of psychotic break? And you're really just a manifestation of my conscience or some other shit like that? Right?"

"I-

"OH GOD," Naruto practically wailed, clutching at his hair as he rocked back into the couch. "This can't be happening. Oh fuck. Oh _shit_! How am I going to explain you to my family?"

Sasuke just sat quietly, wondering if this was normal of humans.

Unsure of what to do he simply held out his hand and offered: "Cookie?"

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><p><em>Back at the North Pole...<em>

"What do you mean, _you lost him_?" Itachi growled, his clipboard cracking beneath his fingers as he struggled to reign in his anger. Kisame stood uselessly off to the side, sort of too terrified to say anything. Itachi was generally a pretty calm guy, but when it came to Sasuke his anger knew no bounds.

"Somewhere...must've wandered off I suspect," a now more sober Nick mumbled as he held a cool damp cloth over his eyes. Kisame winced, knowing what was coming.

"_Wandered off_? My brother did not simply _wander off_," the enraged elf continued, the sound of cracking wood accompanying his growl. "You _left him_!"

"Itachi, please," Santa pleaded as he reclined in his chair. "My head feels like I've got Rudolf stomping around in it. I just need a bit of quiet."

"Quiet? I'll give you quiet when you're _dead_!" Itachi yelled as he broke his clipboard over the human's head. "You left an elfling in some stranger's house! And not just any elfling, but my little brother!"

"OW! Jeez, Itachi calm—

"SHUT UP!" He grabbed the nearest bowl of candy canes and began hitting the man with it. "You. Will. Bring. Him. Back!"

Kisame finally felt the need to step in and wrestled the bowl away from his friend.

"Itachi, please, Nick made a mistake but blunt force trauma—

"Will certainly make me feel better," the Uchiha sneered, eyeing Santa who was moaning in pain in his armchair. Kisame gave him a withering looking before turning to their boss.

"Sir, I can get the sleigh prepared within the hour for an emergency flight so we can retrieve Sasuke."

Santa pulled the cloth off of his eyes and stared over at them. "I'm afraid that won't be possible. We can't risk the sleigh being spotted, not to mention that the reindeer won't be able to fly again for at least a few weeks," He sighed before a blush crept onto his face before he said something so damning that Kisame could only shake his head. "And...I can't really remember where I left him."

Itachi launched himself at the man, pale hands looking to wrap around his neck. Kisame grabbed the smaller elf by the waist and hoisted him into the air before he could do any damage. Itachi shoved at him and fought his old as he struggled to escape.

"Come on," Kisame grunted, tossing his friend over his shoulder. "You need a quiet place to calm down before you wind up killing somebody."

The smaller elf's elbows dug viciously into his back as he cursed Kisame quite imaginatively.

"Watch your back Clause!" Itachi snarled, his voice sending a chill down the spines of all who could hear. Kisame only hoped that they found Sasuke before the entire Uchiha clan revolted.

**Please don't forget to review :)**

**ForeverFalling**


	4. Chapter 4

Eventually after Sasuke managed to shove a few more cookies down his throat Naruto was able to stop crying, wipe away the tears and snot, and settle back comfortably into the couch looking tired and puffy.

"My family...is coming stay with me for a few days," the blonde started slowly, blue eyes sliding over Sasuke. "So, elf boy: what the hell are we going to tell them?"

"That I'm an old friend from school who needed a place to stay for the holidays," Sasuke replied easily, setting aside the plate of cookies that had been resting in his lap. Naruto considered the idea for a moment before nodding.

"I guess that'll work. Only problem is, I never mentioned that I had a friend named Sasuke."

"We'll make something up," the elf assured. "How long will they be staying?"

"Until New Years. My Ma, Dad, and my brother. All under the same roof. And now you're here too."

The elf grimaced; this was going to be difficult. But then again, who knew if he'd still be there by New Years? Chances were Itachi would track him down within the next few days or kill someone while trying. Probably Kisame. Which would be unfortunate because Sasuke actually liked him. But being Itachi's best friend was an occupation in itself; and a dangerous one at that. Their friendship had begun on the basis that Kisame was physically imposing while Itachi was mentally terrifying with a sharp mind to match his tongue and a sadistic streak a mile wide. Together they were quite the team. A psychotic, horrifying, tell-your elfling-stories-about-them-at-bedtime-to-scare-them-into-behaving team. But a great team none the less. If anyone could find him, it was them.

"It'll be fine," Sasuke assured the blonde. "They'll never suspect a thing." Hopefully.

"Yeah well," Naruto drawled. "Keep walking around looking like that and they're going to think you've just escaped from working at Santa's Workshop in the mall."

The elf suddenly jumped to his feet. "There's a workshop here? Why didn't you tell me?"

Naruto grabbed his wrist and tugged him back down before he could book it out the door. "It's not really a workshop," he explained. "It's just for the kids."

Sasuke gave him a confused look before asking flatly as he frowned, "And they fall for this farce?"

"Well, yeah. You know, they sit on Santa's lap, tell him what they want—

"Nick doesn't leave the North Pole except on Christmas Eve," the elf protested.

"It's not really Santa," Naruto sighed, fighting back a smile at how confused Sasuke looked. "Men are hired to dress up as him."

"So, let me understand," the raven started. "Men dress up, impersonating Nick and spend entire days promising children toys if they sit on his lap?"

"Well, when you say it like—

"What the hell kind of sick society do you live in?" He asked, disgusted, ripping his wrist from Naruto's hold. "Twisting Nick's generosity into something so disgusting!"

"It's not like that!" the human said defensively. "It's a tradition, it happens all over the world—

"PEDOPHILIA! _Internationally condoned_ Pedophilia!" Sasuke ranted loudly.

"SHH! J-Just calm down," Naruto pleaded desperately. "I- I get that this is all weird- culture shock right? But I swear that it's completely innocent alright?"

The elf hesitated for a moment before nodding.

"First thing's first," the blonde started, the gears in his head picking up speed. "We've got to find you normal clothes. Then we've got to mess up my guest room a bit, and then we've got to clean the place up."

Sasuke's face twisted into what Naruto would normally call a pout but wouldn't dare to the elf's face.

"I still don't see the problem with what I'm wearing. I think I look fine in it."

Naruto glanced at the green leather boots, red stockings and vest embroidered in white with intricate snowflakes. The red stockings really weren't all _that _bad...you know, as bright red skin tight things go. They were flattering at least...very flattering actually, he realized as his eyes skimmed over the lines of Sasuke's legs that were crossed neatly beneath the elf.

"...Be that as it may, you can borrow some of my clothes. They'll be nice and loose. _Very_ loose," he muttered, running a hand through his hair as he ripped his eyes away from the unsuspecting creature beside him. Sasuke looked sceptical for a moment before conceding defeat.

"Alright," Naruto said as he stood, trying to pump himself up. "We can do this! How hard could it be? I'll tell them you're my friend and you'll charm their socks off until they forget all about never having heard about you before!"

The elf gave him a small sort of smile that questioned his sanity but nodded none the less.

As it would turn out, finding clothes that Sasuke could wear was actually far more difficult than Naruto anticipated. Everything either fell off of him, or slid down to a point where it would be downright scandalous to allow him to be seen in them. In the end a spare pants left over from when Sai had stayed with him for a few days fit well enough despite being a little long in the legs.

"I still don't see why I can't wear my normal clothes," Sasuke groused as he tugged at the jeans he was wearing. He didn't like the feel of the cold denim against his skin although Naruto had assured him that it'd warm up given a few minutes. He'd been 'allowed' to keep his shirt although the blonde had grabbed his hat and hidden it somewhere in the house saying that he would look ridiculous if he wore it when everyone arrived. At one point he'd practically been shoved off his feet so Naruto could pilfer his boots as well. His assurance that they'd only be in the front closet was the only thing that stopped Sasuke from clawing out those pretty blue eyes in an attempt to fight the human off. They'd been a gift from his mother for his Begetting Day and he had no intention of letting them be stolen right from under him- literally.

"Instead of that hat, I figure you should wear a headband or something. Just so there's no chance someone spots your ears," Naruto was saying as the elf glared.

"I'll look stupid."

"And you won't look stupid in a fucking jingling hat?" He asked, digging through a drawer.

"No!" Sasuke snapped, offended, as he leaned against the counter in Naruto's bathroom. "I won't!"

The blonde looked up, worry playing across his face. "I-I didn't mean to hurt your feelings or anything. I'm just nervous."

The elf glared at the human until he apologized and gently fit a bright orange headband over the tips of Sasuke's ears.

"There," he said softly, his fingers dragging through the dark tresses. "You look great."

The elf slid away from the counter, looking away to hide the blush blossoming across his cheeks. They ended up rolling around on the guest bed to make it look as though someone had been sleeping there and tossed Sasuke's tights into the corner and threw his vest over the chair tucked underneath the desk.

"There," Naruto laughed, reaching out to fix the headband that had gone askew during their rolling. "Now we've just got to clean up the downstairs a bit before they get here."

"What about food?"

"Oh, my Ma is bringing everything."

Sasuke followed the human down the hallway and down the stairs, the cat padding along behind him.

"She makes the _best _stuffing on earth."

The elf smiled at that, quite glad that he'd have something to talk about with Naruto's mother. He'd always liked making stuffed animals. There was something calming in knowing that a child would cling to something he'd made for comfort and friendship. One of the first thing elflings were taught to make were teddy bears- always a classic.

"It's delicious, but I always eat too much and end up feeling awful."

Sasuke glanced over at the man, eyeing him oddly. "Yes... I can imagine. Maybe you should stop eating it?" he suggested, wondering how Naruto could possibly manage to stomach it. Humans were so weird.

"Nah man, it's way too good! Anyway," he continued. "The place really isn't messy, I just want to give it one last vacuum and then we can set the table. Not much work really."

The blonde went puttering about, grabbing the central vac and plugging it in as Sasuke took a seat on the couch, the cat hopping up to settle down in his lap.

"What's your cat's name?" he called over the loud hum of the vacuum.

"Oh, his name's Ra. Short for Ramen!"

The elf looked down at the feline's eyes that were staring sadly into his.

"I'm so sorry," he apologized as he scratched behind a fluffy ear. "You poor thing," he added as the cat too seemed to be lamenting his name, letting out a sad meow as he persisted to roll around on Sasuke's dark pants, leaving trailers of fur in his wake.

"You must really like ramen- whatever it is," he replied, pursing his lips at the now marred expanse of his nearly black jeans. He began to pick at the fur as Naruto nodded.

"It's my favourite! Best food— Wait. What?"

The vacuum was switched off as the blonde sauntered forward, a horrified look on his face. No one had ever looked at Sasuke like that except for his father after a certain incident when he'd only been a small elfling involving a can of paint and a Polar Bear cub he'd found.

"You don't know what _ramen_ is?"

Sasuke shrugged as he plucked another stray piece of fur from his person, asking carelessly: "Should I?"

Naruto looked fit to faint, his jaw working uselessly as he struggled to find the appropriate words. And thus, instead of vacuuming like they were supposed to, they wound up making a pot of ramen for lunch.

Sasuke glanced from the bowl set in front of him, to the blonde sitting across from him who was happily slurping from his own. "Are you sure this is healthy?"

Naruto set his bowl down with a loud clank that vibrated through the wood. "Of _course_ it's not! It tastes great doesn't it? Do you seriously not have ramen at the North Pole?"

"We like to eat things that won't cause heart failure," Sasuke said quietly, wincing as the salty broth spilled over his tongue.

Naruto just shook his head as he got back to eating his own and they sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes before the phone began to ring. The blonde swore as he stumbled from his chair and ran off to go find where he'd left the receiver. Sasuke glanced at the doorway that the human had disappeared through, ensuring he wouldn't be back soon before picking up his bowl and heading to the sink. Ra, who'd been sitting on his feet under the table followed after him, giving him a look that could only be considered disapproving.

"What? I tried it," he said defensively as he dumped the bowl into the sink and ran the water to hide the evidence.

He could hear Naruto arguing with someone over the phone as he adjusted the headband that was beginning to irritate his ears. He eventually pulled it off, puffing as his bangs spilled into his face. He set the orange monstrosity down on the counter near the stove, as close as he dared to the still on burner, and prayed for the best. With any luck, it'd be in crisps before Naruto even had time to notice. He could hear the blonde still arguing over the phone so he ducked into the hallway.

"No- No! How much earlier are we talking here?" he asked, clearly exasperated as he ran a hand over his face. "WHAT? There's no way in hell she's staying here too! What do you mean _engaged?_" He shouted, looking panicked as he sat down on the hall bench.

There was a knock at the door that caught Sasuke's attention but Naruto had clearly missed it.

"Do you want me to get that?"

Naruto glanced over at him, confused.

"The door?"

The human nodded before going back to yelling so Sasuke scooped up Ra who was once against twisting around his feet (bloody accident waiting to happen really) and made his way to the front door.

"Dad- _Dad!_ Just wait alright? There's someone here."

Sasuke pulled back the deadbolt and opened the door only to nearly be run over by a redheaded woman with her arms wrapped around a large bowl.

"Naruto, you really need to salt your walk! Nearly killed myself," she barked happily before stopping when she spotted Naruto sitting frozen on the bench, the receiver still clutched to his ear. The woman turned back around, her eyes landing on Sasuke.

"_Who_ are you?"

Naruto dropped the phone, leaving it forgotten on the hardwood as he scrambled to get to his mother.

"T-This," he started nervously gesturing to the elf who was still standing stock still in the doorway. "Is Sasuke. From school. I- I must've told you about him before," he laughed nervously.

"Huh," the redhead said, cocking her hip. "Never heard of him. Musta' forgotten yeah?"

She shoved the bowl into her son's arms before making her way back to Sasuke and sticking out her hand. "Kushina Uzumaki."

Sasuke hastily dropped Ra and shook her hand. "Sasuke Uchiha. It's- it's a pleasure. I've heard lots about you."

"All terrible things I bet!" she laughed loudly, her grip firm and warm. "At least going by the look on your face!"

Sasuke quickly schooled his features into what he hoped was a pleasant smile but was more than sure came off as a pained grimace. "Only good things Mrs. Uzumaki."

"Call me Kushina, kid," she growled as she clapped him on the back, making him stagger back a few steps and almost knock into a blonde that could only be Naruto's father.

"And this is Minato."

"Hello," the man greeted gently, sending a kind smile in his direction.

"This is Sasuke," Naruto jumped to explain to his Dad. "He didn't have anywhere to go for the holidays and I invited him. I was going to explain, but _apparently _you're early!"

"We figured we'd surprise you," Kushina said, annoyed.

"_She _figured we'd surprise you," Minato corrected quietly before he hefted the shopping bags that he'd been carrying and made his way to the kitchen. "You're more than welcome Sasuke," he called back. "It'll be great to have you."

"T-Thank you," he answered, shuffling his sock covered feet on the floor, more than a little nervous.

Kushina's face darkened as she looked out the door before she yelled, "KYUUBI! Get the fuck in here and say hello to your brother and his friend! You can suck her face later! Newly engaged," she added at a lower decibel as she shrugged. "Sure as hell hope _I_ wasn't this insufferable. My poor mother."

With her back turned to him Naruto had begun gesturing wildly to his head. Sasuke blinked back at him for a few moments before Minato appeared through the kitchen door holding what appeared to be a blackened headband.

"Naruto, you've got to be more careful," he sighed as he placed the burned accessory in his son's hand. The younger blonde stared at it in horror before looking back to the elf. Sasuke shrugged helplessly before flattening down his hair, ensuring his ears were hidden.

"Well, who do we have here?" a deep voice asked.

"Sasuke, a friend of your brother's," Kushina explained to the tall redhead who was now framed in the door. He had his mother's green eyes and clearly took after her like Naruto did his father. He must have been a few inches taller than his younger brother so that he absolutely towered over Sasuke, who wasn't exactly tiny himself. He was wearing faded jeans that spoke of hard work and a flannel button down over top of a black t-shirt beneath his winter coat. He held out his hand and Sasuke was slightly put off when it practically swallowed his own.

"Can't say I've heard of you, but I guess we'll fix that."

He seemed nice enough; more like Minato in demeanour.

"And this," he continued, a note of pride colouring his voice. "Is my fiancée Karin."

Sasuke glanced out of the door, seeing (yet another) redhead climbing the stairs, clutching the railing for dear life. She was pretty he supposed, and she had a nice smile if nothing else.

"Hi," she greeted, shaking his hand as she called back to her fiancé's brother. "Sorry to just drop in on you like this, Naruto. He wanted it to be a surprise."

"It's a surprise alright," Naruto grumbled, finally picking up the phone from the floor.

"And you're Sasuke, or at least, that's what I heard from outside! They're a loud lot, that's for sure. Or at least, Kushina and Naruto are," she added conspiratorially as she gave him a quick hug.

Everyone began pulling off their coats and kicking off their boots before making their way to the kitchen leaving just Naruto and Sasuke standing in the hallway.

"We need to find you another headband," the human growled as he grabbed the elf by the hand and began dragging him up the stairs. "We don't want them to see—

"Hey Naruto, where do you keep the..."

They froze halfway up the stairs as Karin appeared, eyeing them oddly for a moment before a grin broke out across her face.

"A 'friend from school' huh?" She laughed before disappearing back into the kitchen.

"Oh shit," Naruto said flatly, colour draining from his face. "I'm never going to live this down. She's going to be my fucking _sister-in-law_! I'm going to have to put up with her for the rest of my life!"

He continued dragging Sasuke up the stairs, practically picking him up when the elf stumbled. He led them to the bathroom and rifled through the drawer before pulling out a black headband and fitting it over Sasuke's head.

"Don't lose this one," he instructed clearly as he adjusted the raven's hair around the band to make it presentable.

"It was hurting my ears," Sasuke said. "So I took it off."

Naruto winced, remembering how sensitive they were.

"It'll only be for a few hours. You can take it off at night once you go to bed."

Sasuke gave him a long suffering look before nodding.

"We've just got to work together alright?" Naruto said, clutching his hand reassuringly as he smiled. "Then we'll figure this all out and get you home."

The elf nodded again as they made their way back down the stairs, neither noticing they were still hand in hand.

* * *

><p><em>Back at the North Pole...<em>

Fugaku twitched as he watched his eldest child be carried through the hallway by Kisame Hoshigaki, swearing a mile a minute in a way that he just knew Mikoto would be proud of. When Kisame spotted him with obvious relief he waved his son's friend over.

The two had been best friends since Itachi had been young enough to wander off and spread his special brand of terror to the entire neighbourhood. At least Kisame could manage to control Itachi when his temper got the better of him. All Mikoto that one was; a thin veneer of calm spread over a fire that was just waiting to spring forth and traumatize all those near. At least Sasuke had been a calm child.

"_Father_," Itachi growled as he was set down, in a way that he knew all too well.

"Who has offended you _now_, Itachi?" He sighed as he marked his place in the book he was reading with his thumb.

"It's _Clause!_"

Of course it was, he thought as he rolled his eyes. If he didn't know better he'd say that Itachi had only become Head Elf so that he could keep an eye on Nick and report back his every transgression. Actually...he wouldn't put it past Itachi to have become Head Elf simply because of that. For some reason he'd had a grudge against their employer since he was but a tiny elfling. He'd never seen a one year old glare like Itachi had when he'd first set his little eyes on Santa.

"What's he done this time?" He asked as he opened his book and set back to reading. He'd long ago learned not to get sucked into his son's paranoia.

"The fucking baboon has _lost Sasuke_!"

"Itachi," he started, calmly turning the page. "What have I told you about that sort of langua—

He looked up from his book. "He _what _Sasuke?"

"He got drunk and abandoned him in some stranger's house!" Itachi said manically and Fugaku took a moment to appreciate just how vindicated his oldest must feel right now before he realized he'd ripped his book in two and was already marching his way towards the Head Office.

Well, maybe Itachi didn't get his temper _entirely _from Mikoto.

* * *

><p><strong>So um...I meant to have this entire story done for New Year's Day because that's when the story wraps, but...I got busy. So please stick with me! Also, please don't forget to review,<strong>

**ForeverFalling :) **


	5. Chapter 5

Sasuke adjusted the headband for the nth time that day, ignoring the pointed glare Naruto sent his way as he peeled potatoes. Kushina had insisted that as a guest he shouldn't have to do anything and instead had sidelined him to the table. Minato was seated beside him, dicing some green onions for the stuffing- which apparently had nothing to do with toys.

"So, where are you from?" Minato asked, trying to break the silence that had befallen the room.

Sasuke's hands quickly dropped to his lap and he glanced nervously over to Naruto who didn't look up from his peeling before answering, "The...the north. I live _very _far north."

The blonde nodded as he picked up another onion. "Must be a lot warmer here for this time of year."

Sasuke made a noise of agreement but otherwise tried to remain as silent as possible. One of the first things he'd noticed when Nick had landed here had been the weather. It was still _cold_ in a way, but it was a different kind of cold. A humid one, whereas it was a dry cold back home.

"What brings you south?"

"It was...a bit of an accident really," he started hesitantly as he fiddled with the fringe of his sleeve. "I hadn't planned on it."

"Redirected flight?" Minato asked. "I bet you get a lot of storms up there."

Sasuke smiled, "Well, you could say that. Missed my flight, actually. Left early and I wasn't able to catch it in time."

"Huh," the man intoned thoughtfully. "I've never heard of that happening before. Delayed flights sure, but yearly? What line were you flying?"

Sasuke floundered for a moment, before Karin supplied him with a ray of hope, her arms saddled with plates and cutlery.

"Hey Sasuke, would you mind giving me a hand setting the table?"

The elf practically jumped from his seat and rushed over to take several plates that were precariously perched on her arm. "Sure. I'll, uh, be right back," he said to Minato, hoping that the man would forget his question in the mean time.

Karin gave him a smile before heading off towards the dining room, glaring playfully at her fiancé as Kyuubi looked up from his work to grope her as she passed. Sasuke set the plates down on the table as she went digging through the hutch for a table cloth, finally finding a festive red one embroidered with gold.

"So how long have you and Naruto been together?" she asked casually, tossing the cloth onto the table.

"Just since last night," Sasuke told her as he began setting out the plates, making sure they were evenly spaced from the edge of the table and from each other.

A wicked grin played across her face as she sorted the cutlery. "Must be exciting."

"It was...startling," he said, searching for the right word that wouldn't give away too much. "It wasn't like it was planned or anything- what with my flight being redirected," he added hastily. "It was very last minute."

Karin smirked as she set a silver knife down with a dull clatter. "I bet you guys were pretty busy last night then huh?"

Sasuke nodded, "I suppose so. We didn't get much sleep. Well, Naruto got some here and there, but I was up the entire night thinking about everything."

"New relationships are like that," the woman laughed and Sasuke couldn't help but agree.

He'd never met a human before; it was pretty nerve wracking to have suddenly made friends- let alone be staying- with one. He didn't have many friends back at the North Pole, and relationships outside of his and Itachi's hadn't ever come naturally to him as they seem to for other people.

"Give it some time and everything will smooth out," Karin assured him as she set another place.

He grinned as her took her words to heart. Things just _had _to work out, right? Itachi would find him and bring him home as soon as he could wrangle the reindeer. It was just a matter of when and until then he'd just have to try his best to get along with Naruto. Hey, maybe he could even get back on his own. After all, was there any better way to prove that he was just as resourceful and resilient as his brother was than by doing what Itachi had always loved doing: fixing what Clause had screwed up in the first place and then boasting about it? This whole situation might not turn out to be a complete wash in the end.

* * *

><p>Naruto groaned to himself as Sasuke followed after Karin and suddenly the eyes of his entire family came to rest on him; this didn't bode well.<p>

"So," Minato started casually (in a way that really wasn't all that casual) as he continued dicing and if Naruto hadn't grown up with the man he might've been led to believe that what was about to be said was completely benign. Unfortunately, he _had _grown up with him. And he'd long since been robbed of that sort of naive innocence.

"Sasuke seems nice."

Oh, here we go, Naruto thought, resisting the urge to kick the cabinetry.

"Yes," Kushina nodded with a sly smirk on her face as she hopped up to sit on the countertop, her jean clad legs crossing elegantly in front of her. "_Very _nice."

"Anything you'd like to tell us, kid?" Kyuubi asked, his face a mirror image of their mother's.

"He's just a friend," he insisted as he tossed another potato into a pot full of water.

"That's not what Karin said," his brother sang pointing the tip of his knife menacingly in his direction. "She said you two looked pretty cosy earlier on the stairs."

The blonde growled under his breath, viciously stabbing the nearest spud with the tip of his peeler before turning to face his family. "What is this? The _Inquisition_? He's just a friend who needed a place to stay."

"Right," his mother chuckled dryly. "Well, you just call us when you get your head out of your ass and are ready to fess up."

Kyuubi gave a succinct nod before he started working again.

"Dad," Naruto pleaded. "Come on! You've got to believe me."

Minato smiled softly, giving his youngest a side-glance. "Thou dost protest too much."

"You're all insane." Naruto grumbled, turning back to his work. "We aren't together, nor will we _ever be_ together. We're way to different- like different species different, okay? Sasuke will go home in a few days, and that'll be that."

"If he's leaving soon you'd better move quickly," his mother urged as she set to work making the breadcrumbs. "Can't let a catch like that get away from you. A little shy—

"Odd," Minato nodded. "

But he's got a tight little as—

"MOM," Naruto yelled, tossing a peel in her direction. "I don't need to hear those words come out of your mouth."

"What?" She asked as she held a hand to her chest, attempting to look innocent and not exactly pulling it off. "A woman can't _look_? I'm married, not dead."

"_Mom_."

"Fine, Fine," she laughed. "I'll shut up. Don't wanna' offend my son's delicate sensibilities."

"No," Minato agreed mildly. "We wouldn't want that."

"Having fun without us, I see," Karin said as she and Sasuke appeared through the door to the dining room.

"No we're not," Naruto growled, casting a glare at his unapologetic family members.

"Some healthy terrorising is good for the soul," Kyuubi said. "It's what family is for, am I right Sasuke?"

The elf looked like a deer in the headlights at being addressed as he stood in the doorway. Sasuke thought back to all the times Itachi had tied him up and abandoned him in Polar Bear territory when he insisted on tagging along with him and Kisame.

"I guess so."

"It must be so hard being away from your family for Christmas," Kushina sighed sadly, brushing a stray hair from her forehead.

"Well," he started, going to stand by Naruto and thus put as much distance between himself and the blonde's family as he could without leaving the room. "We're always so busy on Christmas Eve that there's not much time for celebrating. Besides, we don't really celebrate the actual day. It doesn't really make much sense with us running around all year—

"Being Jewish!" Naruto interjected desperatly. "Running around all year being Jewish. Sasuke is actually Jewish. _Hanukah_. His family celebrates Hanukah. They wear the hats and light the Menorah."

The elf quirked an eyebrow, but the manic look in Naruto's eyes had him nodding for fear of what the other could do with the potato peeler he was holding if he put his mind to it.

"Yes...I'm...Jewish. But, I don't see what that has to do with Christmas seeing as it's a Pagan celebr—

"Can you help me peel these?" Naruto practically yelled over him, looking haggard as he held out a knife for Sasuke to use.

Never one to pass up an opportunity to be useful Sasuke began making quick work of the potatoes.

"You need to be more careful," the blonde hissed quietly.

"I don't see what religion has to do with Christmas," Sasuke grumbled equally quietly. "Your Jesus was born around March, this is supposed to be a celebration of the Winter Solstice. You Christians called the Pagans barbarians for the same traditions that everyone now claims to be _Christian _ones."

"Look, we just need to get through today and then we're home free, alright? But for right now, I need you to get your head in the game."

"Or, we could just tell them the truth," Sasuke hissed back.

"Oh yeah, 'cause that'll go over well. Hey, guys, Sasuke's actually an elf that got left behind while delivering presents. Turns out Santa's a lush. Surprise. Yeah. Yeah, that sounds like a stupendous plan, dude. Maybe they'll put us in adjoining cells in the asylum."

"There are plenty of cookies-

"_No_," Naruto growled, gesturing wildly with the potato peeler he'd been using. "You are _not _drugging my family."

"I _told_ you, it's not a drug, it's just magic."

"Same deal!"

"What are you two whispering about over there?" Kushina called.

"Nothing," they both chimed innocently as they turned to smile over at her.

"Uh huh," she said, a knowing smile playing across her face as she winked cheekily at her son. "You two are just so adorable. I'm thinking we should have it in Spring."

"Have what?" Sasuke asked curiously as he grabbed four more potatoes from the bag and placed the five he'd peeled into the pot.

Naruto stared down at the three he'd managed to peel with a scowl.

"The wedding."

"Whose wedding? Kyuubi and Karin's?"

"No no, that's next autumn. I'm talking about yours and Naruto's," she said succinctly. "How do you feel about orange and silver?"

"I suppose it depends on the shade- _my_- what?" he spluttered, fumbling the potato he'd been holding.

Kushina spared him a calculating look before turning back to her prep work. "Yes. I like you. Karine got used to me far too quickly. But _you_, you're going to be years of fun, I can just tell, Sasuke."

"You'll never escape now," Kyuubi cackled loudly as Sasuke looked helplessly over at Naruto.

"So, what's your family like?"

* * *

><p>Kisame sighed as Fugaku beat Nick into the ground, Itachi watching on approvingly from a few paces back. He winced as a stay molar rolled across the floor and came to rest at his feet. He stooped to pick it up, wondering what he should do with it. Nick never should've let that elf that wanted to be a dentist get away.<p>

He watched as Itachi picked up the bowl he'd had been using earlier and offered it up to his father. "Here, I find it has a nice weight to it."

His father stopped his assault for a moment, Nick moaning uselessly on the floor as he tongued the fresh hole in his gums. And to think, Mikoto hadn't even been told yet. The man was going to need dentures.

"Ah, yes, I see what you mean. Very solid," Fugaku said, considering the bowl momentarily before turning back to his work.

"Thank you, Itachi."

"You're welcome, father."

* * *

><p>Thanks for the reviews! It's been awhile, I know. To tell you all the truth, I've no idea what to do with this story. I have an ending in mind, but otherwise...I've got nothing. Let me know what you'd like to read and hopefully we can figure this thing out.<p>

ForeverFalling.


	6. Chapter 6

The potato fell, hitting Sasuke's toe at an odd angle, sending a jolt up pain up his leg.

"Son of a Nutcracker," he cursed as he curled his toes defensively. As soon he said it, Sasuke flushed and went to apologise, ashamed to have sworn in front of Naruto's parents. When he looked up everyone seemed amused, especially Kyuubi who had a huge smile on his face.

"I love that movie!"

The elf frowned, confused for a moment before he remembered the movie he and Naruto had watched the night before. "Oh, uh, I just saw it last night."

"How'd you like it?"

"I'll admit it had its moments, but it perpetuates harmful stereo-

Sasuke grunted as Naruto planted his elbow into his ribs.

"Sasuke's such a kidder," the blonde laughed, the sound clearly forced, at least to Sasuke's ears. "He really loved it. Big Will Farrell fan, this one."

Kyuubi looked even more interested at that and Naruto winced, blatantly remembering his brother's obsession. "Do you like Step-Brothers?"

"I'm sure they're nice, but I don't-

Naruto elbowed him again before shoving a basket of napkins into his arms. "Here, set these out would you?"

"He's got a flat, earnest sort of sarcasm. Very Scandinavian. I like it," Kyuubi said as Sasuke disappeared into the dining room. "I'm telling you, he's perfect."

"If he's so perfect you can have him," Naruto grumbled.

"If I wasn't marrying Karin, I might just make a move," his brother said, a considering look on his face.

"Hell, if I wasn't marrying Kyuubi, _I'd_ make a move," Karin laughed.

"Me too," his parents chimed in.

"You're all awful."

"If you think we're awful, wait until Grandpa Jiraya meets him. Or Tsunada," Minato laughed warmly. "Just you wait. Sasuke had better learn to deal with it or he's going to be dropping potatoes for the rest of his life."

"Guys, seriously," Naruto said, putting down his peeler and turning to lean against the counter. "You're going to make him uncomfortable. Can you at least _try _acting normal?"

"Hmm, don't wanna scare him away, do we?" Karin hummed as she leaned into Kyuubi's side. "I guess we could tone it down. But only until the wedding, yeah? Then we're going full force again. Now, who's going to make the pie?"

"What kind do you want?" Sasuke asked as he made his way back into the kitchen, brushing something that looked suspiciously like glitter off of his hands.

Naruto couldn't help but stare at the stray smear of silver sparkles that had somehow come to settle on the elf's face, emphasising the graceful curve of his cheekbone. He gestured to the bag of apples that was sitting on the counter as Sasuke came to stand beside him.

"Do I even want to know how you got glitter on yourself?" he whispered under his breath, biting back a smile that was trying to make its way onto his face.

Sasuke cleared his throat as he reached up to fiddle with his headband again, "Shut up."

The he at least had the decency to look abashed as he started peeling an apple, his elbow brushing against Naruto's. "You'll find out eventually, either way."

"Uh-huh," Naruto said, amused as he leaned over to gently rub at the glitter with his thumb, only managing to spread it even further across the other's cheek. "That's going to take some water to get off," he said, reaching for a dishcloth to run under the tap.

"It's alright," Sasuke told him."I don't mind a bit of glitter."

"No, ah, it...well it looks nice at least," Naruto bumbled as he went back to his work.

"I've always enjoyed shiny things," Sasuke said, matter of fact. "A trait of my kind. Our eyes are naturally attracted to them."

"Like a raven."

"Yeah," Sasuke said with a delicate smile that lit up his features.

He had the sort of face that could look so serious, but Naruto had to admit he preferred when Sasuke was smiling. It make him look more elven, if nothing else, but it was also a pretty perfect smile, you know, as smiles went. Perfectly straight teeth, nice lips...Naruto shook himself. There was probably some weird magic about it or something. Like in those stories where the fairies could enchant someone just by looking into their eyes. Sasuke seemed like he could do something like that. Weird-ass elf magic and all that shit.

He glanced over to find all of the apples peeled and Sasuke already cracking eggs into a mixing bowl.

"How- _what_?"

The elf spared him a sly smile. "I'm a quick worker. One of the fastest."

Naruto nodded dumbly as Sasuke added ingredients without having to spare a moment to measure.

"I've been baking pies since I was an elfling. It's one of the first thing we learn how to do. Easier than toy making, but it shares many of the same skill sets. Concentration, attention to detail, quick hands, and good taste," he said as he starting mixing everything together with a flourish.

"What _can't_ you do?" Naruto asked.

"Well," Sasuke started, considering as he continued working absent mindedly. "I'm not a great singer."

"I was joking," the blonde told him flatly.

"Oh, well, it's true, anyway. I can't carry a tune to save my life."

"I can't either," Naruto laughed as he added the potato he'd been working on to the pot to soak. "I sound like a 'duck being put through a blender'," he said, quoting his ninth grade music teacher.

"I was the worst in the entire Elvish Choir," Sasuke said, his voice sombre and apprehensive, as if his failure was deserving of the utmost secrecy. "Eventually my father let me quit, but it was a scandal."

"Quitting the _choir_ was a scandal?"

"We're supposed to be good at everything, and perfect in as many things possible."

"Sounds like a lot of pressure, if you ask me," Naruto grimaced. "My parents never really cared what we did as long as we were safe and having fun."

"There's not much room for fun in the North Pole," Sasuke shrugged.

"That's gotta' be the biggest oxymoron ever. I thought Santa's village was supposed to be like...the centre of fun. The funnest place on earth."

"Who've _you_ been talking to?" Sasuke asked him disbelievingly, the incredulous look on his face sending Naruto into a fit of laughter.

By the time Naruto had peeled the entire bag of potatoes- Kyuubi adored mashed potatoes with the fervour of a man possessed- Sasuke had already finished the pie and even had time to putter around the kitchen. Naruto wasn't sure if it said more about Sasuke's efficiency, or how shit he was at peeling potatoes. It was probably the latter, but he was also pretty sure a pie took at least an hour to bake, not twenty-minutes, so who the hell knew?

Sasuke pulled the pie out of the oven, placing it neatly on the counter before he reached back in to pull out two more pans of cookies. Seriously. What the fuck.

"Where the hell did you get the sprinkles and the food colouring? Fuck, when did you even make these? I didn't even see you do it," Kyuubi said, awe colouring his voice as he examine the delicate designs and shapes.

"I always keep some food colouring on my person," Sasuke said, as though something like that were not only completely normal, but to be expected.

"What _else_ do you keep on your person?" Kyuubi asked, quirking an eyebrow suggestively.

"Only the necessities."

He pulled a small bottle of food colouring from up his sleeve and then proceeded to pull five candy canes, a spool of ribbon, a bottle of glitter, and a carrot from various other places.

"_Jesus_, kid. How the hell did you hide all that?" Kushina asked, looking dumbfounded.

"Trade secret," the elf said, looking almost smug as he unwrapped one of the candy canes and passed it to Naruto to snack on. The blonde thanked him before popping it into his mouth, not even bothering to question it at that point.

Elves, man.

* * *

><p>Fugaku stood over Claus, staring down at the idiot that'd lost his youngest elfling.<p>

"I trust you've learned your lesson."

The man moaned in agreement.

"Good. Never let it be said I don't know the concept of mercy. I trust you can see to your own care," he said as he signalled to his son that they were leaving. "I'll be taking your blasted sleigh and getting Sasuke back. If this ever happens again, it won't just be your teeth that you have to replace," he said with a nod before he swept from the room with all the grace afforded to an elf of his station, leaving Itachi and Kisame standing over the quivering mass that was their boss.

Itachi crouched down next to Nick, a bland look on his face.

"I'll be telling Mrs. Claus about your latest cholesterol levels," he said, poking idly at a bruise on the man's face.

"And the blood sugar readings that you've been ignoring. I'll admit, I'd been hoping you'd lapse into a diabetic coma or have a heart attack one of these days. I wondered if a stroke was too much to ask for," he added wistfully.

"But I think the diet she's going to put you on will be good enough. _I_ know how much you hate to diet, and _you_ know how much I enjoy watching you suffer."

Santa groaned as Itachi grabbed him by the collar, pulling him until their noses were almost touching.

"I hope she makes you drink _soy milk_," he hissed before he shoved the man away. "Come, Kisame. Father will be waiting for us."

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks for all the reviews! I'm glad you're all enjoying it so far. If there's anything you'd like to happen in the story, let me know. I'm here to please. <strong>

**ForeverFalling. **


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